What the Devil did in the First 7 days.

Today I want to share with you Nury Vittachi's latest column in Reader's Digest Asia.

First a foreward: In the West children are taught the clear boundaries of good and bad, whereas in Asia children are taught the balance of good and bad (cue the memories of yin-yang and what not) If we were to apply the Asian outlook into Genesis, it would be very weird indeed. In fact, after reading this you may be led to doubting that it was the fruit of knowledge that led to Man's downfall.

The passage below is written by Nury Vittachi and edited by me.

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WHAT THE DEVIL DID IN THE FIRST SEVEN DAYS

In the beginning God created heaven and earth, and earth was void without form. Then God made a cicular light and called it the Sun. And he saw that light was good. Then the Devil made a smaller light, and rectangular in shape, and called it TV. And the Devil saw that light was bad.

God made springs which came out of the ground, which out came fountains of pure water. And God saw that water was good. Then Devil invented carbonated drinks. And saw that fizzy drinks are bad.

God said, Let the Earth bring forth vegetables, so that the children may grow up healthy. Then the Devil said, Let there be deep fried potatoes cut into long strips.

And God said, Let the waters bring forth 10,000 varieties of fish to provide sustainance for the children. And the Devil arranged that the fish be deep fried, smothered in batter and served with the deep fried potatoes.

On the seventh day, God rested and asked his children to rest as well, and contemplate wonders of creation. And the Devil created the Sunday brunch, Sunday tabloids, and that the bodies of the children be filled with more deep fried potatoes.

God said to the boy, Go forth and multiply. Then the devil invented the computer and ordered 10,000 demons to fill it online battles etc. And the boy did cleave to the computer.

God then made many attractive blandishments which she could use whenever the boy is away from the computer. And the Devil invented the Nintendo DS Lite and the PSP.

Then the Devil entered the serpent and caused him to say to the boy, If you eat the fruit of knowledge which the Lord hath forbidden you to touch, your eyes will be opened and you shall be as gods.

And the boy looketh at the girl and said, "No thanks, we liketh not fruit. But hast thou any deep-fried potatoes?"